robertoluongo:

in grade 8 i did a power point presentation on “whooping cough” and my opening slide was a photo of whoopi goldberg coughing and i was the only person who laughed at it and i couldnt start the presentation for like five minutes because i was laughing too hard at my own joke

(via skylertyler)

mermaidsandmisandry:

things i dont need in my life:

• wasps
• those stringy things on the banana
• commercials on youtube

(via nyehpora)

noyouplum:

doctor-brownsuit-mcfrownyface:

doctor-bluesuit-mcgettinsome:

doctor-brownsuit-mcfrownyface:

doctor-bluesuit-mcgettinsome:

Hey, Doctor?

Yes, Doctor?

Rose and I used up all the condoms in this universe. Could you burn up a sun and send us some?

Get out. 

(via souffle-girl-and-thebadwolf)

thatsnotwatyourmomsaid:

itsrainingblogs:

So, like, I’m sitting in my room and I just hear, “You are an ignorant furby, and nobody in this house likes you”

My sister is mentally abusing the furby she got for Christmas because “It says on the box that the way we treat them shapes their personalities.”

SHE JUST WANTS TO SEE WHAT WILL HAPPEN. YOU CAN’T PLAY WITH PEOPLE’S LIVES LIKE THAT. I AM LIVING IN A HOUSE WITH LUCIFER.

your sister is going to get fucking murdered

(Source: itsrainingcatsandblogs, via souffle-girl-and-thebadwolf)